Bloodhound Gang classic--oh yeah--but as funny as theirs was--I still wanted to parody it because, well its me, and I love taking on a challenge. . .so here goes
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Okay-Okay--its a classic, and its been done, probably much better than me, but I love BHG, and I love this song, and I hate bad dates--so I wanted to do it. . .here's the end result
My Date is such a damn putz
Hey Baby, Hey Baby
Jet, waiter get the check please
cause I could not eat my lunch after you've opened your mouth
Please close that trap, and don't yap, close it up when you munch
Saw the pickles, saw your dessert and you're eyes look all blood shot
Don't wear enough, I see your stuff, You're drinking Duff, in wine you drown
You've been plastered, that you've mastered, As you gulp one more glass down
There's ten hickeys on your neck, blind date was a wreck,
and in between your rocks food's intertwined
Is that mold growing on your molars-please go get your teeth refined
Bolting now
Watching her flap her jaws like a camel
Wasn't really half as bad as her decayed tooth enamel
Give me that check now
She handed he number and said her name was Gail
I told her don't bother cause on this blind date she had failed
Leavin' now
Watch
It's what you do when sitting at a movie
Well I once met a girl who's clueless, thought to yap through it was groovy
Please disconnect - its disrespect, the speakers cannot seem to compete
As the movies playing disobeying by conveying on your cell phone about Pete
We are getting eyed, think I'll slide outside, Before one of these guys flip
She asked me "Hun, Why are you leaving", "Because You Can't shut those lips"
Walked out the door, She called me slime
that's fine guests soon got hostile
They attacked her in the aisle, 9-1-1's the next thing she dialed
Watch it now
She was talking much more than I could handle
Next thing that I knew folks were lighting torches and candles
What's the next date pal
I once met this girl who was into shackles
While meeting her outside, I was hurt by her rough tackle
Gettin' angry now
Tried datingfrom Craigslist to email
but sometimes it turns out people leave out major details
Holy crap pal
I've met some dates who were slightly unstable
Even caught one of them stealing my old jumper cables
Really now?
Dated the whole flock, but to no avail
My ego has been shot, and my trust has gotten frail
Man that sucks pal!
Maybe some day I'll go out there and mingle
but Really right this second, I think that I'll just stay single
soundin' smarter now!