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The Bad Dates
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Bloodhound Gang classic--oh yeah--but as funny as theirs was--I still wanted to parody it because, well its me, and I love taking on a challenge. . .so here goes
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Charts
Peak #13
Peak in subgenre #3
Author
Dave-lyrics/RECISIO (Track used with permission)
Rights
2011
Uploaded
April 23, 2011
MP3
MP3 5.4 MB, 192 kbps, 3:56
Story behind the song
Okay-Okay--its a classic, and its been done, probably much better than me, but I love BHG, and I love this song, and I hate bad dates--so I wanted to do it. . .here's the end result
Lyrics
My Date is such a damn putz Hey Baby, Hey Baby Jet, waiter get the check please cause I could not eat my lunch after you've opened your mouth Please close that trap, and don't yap, close it up when you munch Saw the pickles, saw your dessert and you're eyes look all blood shot Don't wear enough, I see your stuff, You're drinking Duff, in wine you drown You've been plastered, that you've mastered, As you gulp one more glass down There's ten hickeys on your neck, blind date was a wreck, and in between your rocks food's intertwined Is that mold growing on your molars-please go get your teeth refined Bolting now Watching her flap her jaws like a camel Wasn't really half as bad as her decayed tooth enamel Give me that check now She handed he number and said her name was Gail I told her don't bother cause on this blind date she had failed Leavin' now Watch It's what you do when sitting at a movie Well I once met a girl who's clueless, thought to yap through it was groovy Please disconnect - its disrespect, the speakers cannot seem to compete As the movies playing disobeying by conveying on your cell phone about Pete We are getting eyed, think I'll slide outside, Before one of these guys flip She asked me "Hun, Why are you leaving", "Because You Can't shut those lips" Walked out the door, She called me slime that's fine guests soon got hostile They attacked her in the aisle, 9-1-1's the next thing she dialed Watch it now She was talking much more than I could handle Next thing that I knew folks were lighting torches and candles What's the next date pal I once met this girl who was into shackles While meeting her outside, I was hurt by her rough tackle Gettin' angry now Tried datingfrom Craigslist to email but sometimes it turns out people leave out major details Holy crap pal I've met some dates who were slightly unstable Even caught one of them stealing my old jumper cables Really now? Dated the whole flock, but to no avail My ego has been shot, and my trust has gotten frail Man that sucks pal! Maybe some day I'll go out there and mingle but Really right this second, I think that I'll just stay single soundin' smarter now!
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