Bing is the Berciless ruler of the vowelless planet Grzylyrg (pronounced 'Zi-lurg').
Nestled in between the ancient texts of Bing's early discovery of his mountaintop fortress and the eminent doom of our planet Earth by his most evil plot (albeit by happenstance) known as Asparapuss, is this sweet and simple story of power and cruelty.
Bing rules his vowelless planet Grzylyrg (pronounced 'Zi-lurg') which such evil fervor that his street name, to those willing to speak of this vile ruler, is Bing The Berciless. At least that is how we mere mortals hear this name. It is a strange occurrence in their lexicon that the sound of M comes out sounding like a B. By all other accounts their speech patterns match ours of Earth given their alphabet contains no vowels. This anomaly shall perplex scholars, teachers, dentists, jackhammer operators and ventriloquists for eons to come.
The CHB, in their quest to tell the story of Bing in the appropriate sequence, view this aural account as the second installment of the trilogy. Although there are no plans to further document the exploits of Bing (history will prove if the Earth is truly doomed by the creature that is: not quite a Veggie and not quite a Cat) we do suggest that you nonetheless Beware.
Written by Space Cowboy
Featuring the musings of:
Space Cowboy - Who tells the story, like no other all the while strumming and plucking metallic strands of metal near man made magnets.
AlexOffTheHook - Captured the quintessential voicing of the Sabre Toothed Mountain Eating Leopard. Think: Buzz Saw.
SteveStrummerUK - Brought forth the piercing tremors of evil spewed by Bing (apparently angered by some foolish mistake made by a lowly servant).
Bapu (That or Ed) - One again harnessed the low frequency dread and confusion that most of that sad planet feels when confronted by their ruler.
Fog - Is still enjoying the misty summers on Grzylyrg. At Bing's request.
Jonbouy - Beat out the subtle yet effective warning signals (SOS) to the universe using the native percussive instruments of Grzylyrg.
The Coffee House Band offers this tale of woe and dread for your entertainment and amusement.
Beware, Bing The Berciless.
Bing The Berciless
Verse 1
Out At the edge of space
On a hostile planet
Lives an evil man
From in his mighty fortress wretched rule prevails
His subjects fear him no they wont go near him
They keep their distance far
They've been the bearer
Of his wicked terror
Countless men have died there
There aint no place to hide there
Chorus
You better watch where you tread
Dont cross paths with Bing The Berciless
You might just lose your head
Eyes all wide for Bing The Berciless
You wouldn't wanna wind up dead
You better not mess with Bing The Berciless
Careful where you roam
Stay out of the way of Bing The Berciless
You might wanna head back home
Dont wanna be seen by Bing The Berciless
Dont travel all alone
Or you'll fall prey to Bing The Berciless
Verse 2
He rules a team of mutants
Such abominations, creatures oh so vile
All that oppose them
Fail at virtually every trial
From on the planet Zilurg
In a tainted pool
Something from hell took form
Its such a horror
Unlike man has ever known.
Repeat Chorus
Verse 3
Scientists say Bing's creature's on its way
They say we don't have long to act
We need to hurry to protect our planet
Asparapuss Is Nearing
We'd better start preparing
We'll need the airforce
And We'll need the armies
Of nearly every land
If all our power cannot defeat this
Its mankind's final stand
Repeat Chorus
Outro
Beware, Beware, Beware Of Bing The Berciless