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I Am Afraid of Heights
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The parody that won Matthias the AmIRight Idle competition, as sang by Below Average Dave
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Charts
Peak #7
Peak in subgenre #2
Author
Matthias (writer)/B.A. Dave (Singer)
Rights
2009
Uploaded
April 13, 2009
MP3
MP3 3.2 MB, 128 kbps, 3:32
Story behind the song
See "AmIRight Idle" for more on this one.
Lyrics
Wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha Wha-wha-wha-wha-wha!!! Wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha Wha-wha-wha-wha-wha!!! You forced me to climb this mountain! I’m going to end up dead You’re trying to kill me buddy I’ll trip and fall off the ledge (Whoa!) I can not stand this altitude I am no bird of flight I’ll lose my balance and tumble And then comes the bright light! Wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha! I am afraid of heights! Wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha! I am afraid of heights! You’re so nuts! Your mind is bizarre I’ve got a large bruise And torn my jeans too And I’m done You think this is fun I’d rather be stunned With a taser… that’s right That lame hike Made me whine Like a small girl, bro Small punk You are a bastard And I tossed my boots Because I’m so scared of heights! (Bag check? That blows! Groan…) I wanted a seat near the aisle A window was not my pick (Shit!) The airplane bookers are dumb, Oy! And now I think I’ll be sick (Puke!) Final Destination’s our video Is this how I’m going to die? (f*ck!) The passengers hear me grumble Because I’m scared of heights! Wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha! We are too gosh darn high Wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha! Weed’s the only high I like We’re still low, but This won’t last long The 6 O’clock news Will feature me, screwed Eyes clamped shut These planes are no fun And now they are shunned Because I sit here and cry I grip tight Skin’s gone white So now I’m pale too Say, “Cut!” Just like a film star And then I’ll be through Because I’m frightened by heights! Skyscrapers scare Me to the bone Your cattle calls just make me swear This coaster’s hill Is way too tall I’ll skip the faire and play baseball So go strut Go climb that rockface Cause you’ll become ooze You’ll be deceased soon I’ll stay put Won’t scale canyons Not for a whole ton Of cash and doubloons… That bites In my mind Guys don’t fly Not like those owls do Ten-Hut! Won’t be among stars Like astronaut dudes Because I’m so scared of heights No, no! No, no! I don’t want to skydive Cause I’m too scared My parachute won’t work right It’s knot tied And I’ll die! Death isn’t cool, nope Keep shut! Avoided so far That bridge might be loose And then I’ll plummet in spite Wha-wha-wha-wha-wha!!! Splat!
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