Some women stay far away from a man If he's got two foot long ivory tusks They slam the door and I'm stuck outside I'm thick...skinned but it...makes me cry Your stance is firm, you don't date pachyderms But there's talk down at the watering hole Some people say you're a hippocrite For moonlighting with the rhino I know you said you won't date circus geeks To you I'm just a grotesque sideshow freak But I'm not worried Cause I am a hunk And I've got a big trunk Oh yeah, I'll trumpet my cause where I can You shouldn't jeer my big floppy ears When it's hot, they'll cool like a fan If you're beguiled by the call of the wild If you are looking for a Republican Please consider giving me a try Because I am the Elephant Man! I AM...THE ELEPHANT MAN! Oh yes I am! Some people say that I can't get a date Cause when I kiss girls think that they'll get gored They think it's wrong that my head is oblong I guess chicks just don't dig herbivores I went to school with a congenital Disease, I wasn't like the other lads My ears were jumbo, just like Dum-bo Kids teased me and that made me sad I tried to let those kids climb me one day They said I'm fat and I smelled like decay So I crushed them but that's all in the past They can all kiss my Mast-odon I'm really a romantic guy I'll dip my trunk in a pool, take a drink And we'll bathe under the Tuskan Sky I'm not above giving two tons of love But if you want to be on top you can I promise never to trample your heart If you start dating Elephant Man! I AM...THE ELEPHANT MAN! Oh yes I am! The Elephant Man! You know you only shoot me down out of spite I guess you'd rather date the hippo tonight That's your decision But I'm feeling scorned Just because I'm deformed Severe proteus syndrome wasn't my plan My head's still growing, it's seven feet wide And some lesions appeared on my glands No I don't hope for a miracle cure I guess I just accept the way that I am I look barbaric, I'm just like John Merrick Cause I am the Elephant Man! I AM...THE ELEPHANT MAN! Oh yes I am! The Elephant Man!