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The Man With Massive Toenails
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The story of a pathetic fellow with an unusual malady. Recorded live and off-the-cuff in the studio!
dr demento mike renneker chuck lucky dave renneker mr dinner
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Hilariously rockin'& Swingin' tunes from America's favorite computer animated lounge band! Featured on the Dr. Demento show!
Announcing the arrival of what is likely the world's first computer animated lounge act! "Chuck Lucky and the Gentlemen of Leisure" are a group of loveable, middle-aged losers who love music, gambling, Vegas, booze and stuffing themselves silly at cheap buffets. Fronted by the affable Chuck Lucky, the group performs hilarious tunes in many classic American musical genres including swing, funk and rock--all with a generous dose of LOUNGE thrown in. Except for the fact that they're computer animated fictional characters, Chuck and the fellahs are no different from any other band trying to make it in the music business
Song Info
Genre
Podcasts • Comedy
Charts
Peak #25
Peak in subgenre #13
Author
Michael D. Renneker
Rights
1995
Uploaded
March 18, 2005
Track Files
MP3
MP3 3.8 MB • 128 kbps • 0:00
Lyrics
There was a man who had massive toenails they stood out 3 feet from his shoes and they could not be trimmed had to walk backwards to avoid skewering his cat don't skewer that cat) and every single pair of socks he owned had five puncture holes and that's a fact his father left him at the tender age of three (the bum skipped town) his mama soon followed and his life became one never-ending string of miseries (that poor schlub) he was chastised, loved by nobody (not even his cat) which led to the day when he took of his shoes and had his revenge on society chorus: you better run from the man with massive toenails 'cause if you stand in his way you might get impaled they're long and they're wicked and they cannot be trimmed and if you find yourself face to face with him, you're out of luck his dad had a condition, and all the townspeople used to say that when he showed his face in public folks would scream and run the other way, (the ugly sumbitch) this became his mission to try & track the old man down he thought if anyone could understand his situation he'd surely be the one to have around but in the mean-time chorus he found his father in a scummy trailer park on the outskirts of Merced he opened the door and there sat a frail figure the setting sun silhouetting the back of his greasy head he turned around, smiled, and said son & know the kinda predicament you're in as two massive, indestructible nosehairs the thickness of a rope dangled from his nostrils to several feet below his chin you better run from the man with massive nosehairs if they wrap around your neck man you'll be gasping for air they're long and they're wicked and they cannot be trimmed and if you find yourself face to face with him, you're out of luck
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