A hard-working man comes home on his birthday to find his wife sleeping with a fat piece of shit.
We'll lead as two kings.
Nah, fuck it.
Lyrics
my lovely wife of nine years
broke my heart; i'm in tears
that bitch cheated on me
now my whole life is misery
I found her sleeping with my friend
Tim M Herzer, my best man
"fuck me harder, tim!" she screamed
my love was not what it seemed
I SLIT HIS THROAT, AND KILLED HER DOG
MY APPLE BERRY TREE, SO GRACEFULLY
I PLAYED IN HER BLOOD AS I LAUGHED
MAPLE ROAD HAS TURNED INTO A HELLFEST
NOW AS SHE TAKES HER LAST BREATH
I TELL THE STORY OF MY LIFE
SHE BEGS FOR MERCY, "IT WAS ALL A FLUKE!"
SHUT YOUR MOUTH , YOU MAKE ME PUKE
IT'S TIME TO MAKE HER PAY
WASN'T THIS MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY?
NO CAKE, NO PRESENTS, NO CHEER
KILLED MY WIFE, OPENED UP ANOTHER BEER
