8. Blazin' With The Creature From The Black Lagoon
A parody of The Kinks' Sunny Afternoon
I've been creating all kinds of songs for over 30 years, but I never sell any of them. I try to give them away to charities that have musician spokespeople, but
Story behind the song
Total farce, this one. My ex-wife was a very beautiful young woman, & we were in love long after the divorce. I called the guy who set us up an "absent-minded old fool" when he took me fishing, but forgot to put the poles in the car, so we had to go all the way back, because he really wanted to fish that night. He told people that I called him a fool, & I corrected him with the entire title, as 3 words are a cliche, & any less would be just an insult, whether deserved or not. I told my ex- about it, & she asked what I'd call her, so I used her 3 words. She asked what she'd call me, so I told her it would be a "rickety old fart", even though neither of us were those things. If you call someone who really is those things that, it is an insult, no matter how many words you use. I sang it while keeping my lower jaw real tight.
Lyrics
My ex-wife's a haggard old frump,
She made me buy this swampy dump,
Blazin' with the Creature From The Black Lagoon.
And I can't drive my car,
It sank into my marshy yard,
Blazin' with the Creature From The Black Lagoon.
Save me, save me, wave away those bees,
I got a big scaly monster, getting stoned with me!
And I'd love to live in Beverly Hills,
This dank night air gives me the chills,
Blazin' with the Creature From The Black Lagoooooooooooooon!
And the Woofman, too!
And the Woofman, too!
And the Woofman, too!
Now, I can't eat no stinking fish,
He scarfed down everything in my fridge,
All I've got's these frozen margaritas.
So, now I'm sucking on some hollow tubes,
Stuck inside tequila cubes,
Blazin' with the Creature From The Black Lagoon.
Help me, help me, help me row away,
If I had a motorboat, I wouldn't be here today!
'Cause I'd love to live in Beverly Hills,
This dank night air gives me the chills,
Blazin' with the Creature From The Black Lagoooooooooooon!
And the Woofman, too!
And the Woofman, too!
And the Woofman, too!
Oh, save me, shave me, pave away these trees
I got a weeping willow, chasing after me!
'Cause I'd love to live in Beverly Hills,
This dank night air give me the chills,
Blazin' with the Creature From The Black Lagoooooooooon!
And the Woofman, too! ( Repeat with animal noises )
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