Written after being in the military for a while, this song is about mistakes. It expresses the entrapment that can be felt while serving as well as my motivation for joining in the first place. Be sure to read the lyrics as you listen.
Underground personified...
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DIEGO: The rugged, down-to-earth voice of truth in underground music.
Lyrics
I'm forced to look at what I am within
I try to laugh and grin, but happiness is something that I'll never have again/
As soon as I signed on the dotted line
This government owned my time, with my body, and mind /
No longer mine they lied to me
I defend a consitution that no longer applies to me/
And I truly wanna' see that part of me die
And rewind time to change it like Marty McFly /
But I can hardly deny or even try to ignore it
Everyday is worse than the one that came before it/
Morbid imagery enters me from visions I see,
I'm precisely what my environment meant me to be/
Militant, struggling, military, hustlin
Cause I'm in but I'm nothin like the other brothers thats in/
Love with this uniform, died for this uniform! Had a bullet
Protruding between their eyes like a unicorn!/
To conform to this method of serving country that dumped me
In this rut livin' hungry monthly/
College didn't want me so I was scrapped
And even though I could rap, I was placid so I was holdin back/
I tried going back... but I was broke, in fact,
I worked my hands bloody for some money with a broken back/
Totting sacks of garbage, moppin, sweepin
Sellin clothes to the jobless; I've robbed and beaten/
Prisoners in correctional facilities
My profession was to be a villian to professionals of villany/
Eventually I felt like a sell out
For minimun wage with holes in my pocket they wouldn't shell out/
I had to get out of the synical corruption, but just then I knew I was at a critical junction/
A obstruction in my life that couldn't vanquish
Then the pain mixed instantly with shame and anguish /
When paint chips and rotten wood became our asylum
I felt the grief in my wife's tears as I dried them/
And on the nights that she cried them
I looked in her brown eyes and I could see the glaze of heart-ache inside them/
No food, no hope, no shoes, no coat,
No politician visits ghettos so why do we go vote?/
No joke...I am vagabond wandering the state
Pondering my fate to escape from this obvious mistake/
That I've made by selling my soul to military control
...And I'll be livid til' I'm crippled and old/
They try to silence me when I speak a sentence thats bold
Because they know the cold truth and they cringe when its told/
Theres no easy way to say
That I need to seek and pray to God, but I can't see him cause theres demon in the way/
And I attract drama
I feel like my hearts gonna explode like Bill's did when scrapped with Black Mamba/
Rap conquers my personna
So I go ballistic when I hear these twisted kids spit that lack honor/
Who act harder and they say they ganstas slangin'
But they couldn't make it through a day of Basic Training/
But I ain't complainin,
Its just that theres so much stress to supress and these days are draining/
And its makin' me cold
Each stress is a booth on Vagabond Highway thats "takin' its toll"/
And its takin' control, of my whole soul
And I don't know how much longer I'm gon' go/
Before its the end of the road finally
Walk with me down this highway
(Military Prayer)
