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Story behind the song
A long time ago I had a big crush on a girl named Marianne. I always saw her around town dancing like a maniac. I started writing a song for her that was simpering, whimpering, and pitiful.
At the same time I got an idea for a song about womens' underwear which I thought was rather clever. I decided to fuse the beginning of the Marianne song with the underwear idea.
It took me a long time to finish the song--I'm just doing it for FAWM '06. Just for the record, I don't actually want to be anyone's underwear--it's just a stupid song, OK?
Lyrics
Well I've seen you 'round town
For over a year
But I've never caught your eye
Guess it's time to admit the signal is clear-
I'll never be your guy
Give your love to him--it's all the same to me
I'm so jealous of the objects all around you
I want to be one of them
I want to be close to you, baby
If I was your underwear
You just don't know how happy I would be
If I was your underwear
You just don't know how happy I would be
Silk or flannel, poly-cotton
Pink or plaid or polka-dotted
Naughty little scanties trimmed with lace
I would have the most amazing
Ringside seat for navel-gazing
Fantastic elastic encircles your waist
If I was your underwear...
Spherical Miracle Wonder
Forms the maiden, underneath,
Old Vicki's secret's safe with me
I'll make sure none can ignore you
Gladly do your pushups for you
Keepin' your knockities right in their place
If I was...