Beautiful Dreamer (Heaven's Surveillance)
My Grandmother passed away on 7-12-1998. This song is for her.
Been into this rap thing for 20 years now, listening and studying more than practicing. At 25 years old, I'm finally making moves. Yeah, it's long over due, but it is all in due time. Listening to my songs and checking out my page, people may get the idea that J Malice is a monster or sicko; couldn't be further from the truth. J Malice has a heart and is willing to bet any amount of wealth that it's bigger than anyone who chooses to come through here. Don't judge a book by it's cover. You have to open the pages and read inside if you really want to know about someone.
Story behind the song
It's been almost 8 years since my grandmother has passed away. I had always wanted to do a song for her, but never knew which way I wanted it to go. Finally, I've got it completed and I think it works.
Lyrics
Times we had with you were always the best/
when you left, it hurt worse than getting shot in the chest/
you were the number one choice for God to invest/
because of everything you did on Earth, regardless of debt/
didn't seem fair at first, but it's the greatest gift/
to hell with this world, Grandma, you made it big/
I take comfort in knowing you have a place to sit/
next to God watching over us in all the days we live/
I sit back and think about how much you helped us/
your love was warm and never would let us become failures/
you'd give and go without, you were never selfish/
however Heaven went without, you didn't have to tell us/
and with you in it daily, life was never empty/
no delaying, you made our lights shine immensly/'
even though right now,. I've got all these times against me/
in my heart and with my struggles, I've got you standing right with me/
I never will forget your day of departure/
out of all the cuts I have, that date was the hardest/
just knowing you were in pain, that's only making it harder/
but you're safe now and you will take it no longer/
On this Earth, you were a definite savior/
now you're watching over us, Heaven's Surveillance/
yeah it's hurt since you left us that day/
but we know you're watching over, Heaven's Surveillance
free spirit running wild/
heavenly child/
angel of strength/
beautiful dreamer
July 12th, 1998/
at first for me, that was a time to hate/
thoughts here and there, I wanted to find a blade/
but it wouldn't bring you back, taking my life away/
As the days passed on, I learned to cope/
pain on the inside is slowly burning my soul/
I realized God picked the perfect person to go/
even that'll never make me stop hurting, though/
it's like you're on a well-deserved vacation/
you's our backbone coming up through the ages/
for happiness, you are the justification/
and there could never be another one to replace ya/
I can picture you now, young and free-spirit/
far away from the pain and suffering, he cleared it/
sometimes in my dreams you make a special appearance/
we communicate, but only you and me hear it/
your passing was accepted after alot of practicing/
though my tears still flow, I leave tracks of them//
I swear I'd give up all my bad acts and sins/
just so we might get the chance to have you back again/
God himself knew that he let you escape/
a trip back to him, you were destined to make/
keeping your memory alive, never letting ya fade/
I'm falling asleep and hope you're headed my way
