Based on a true story in my life back in June 2001.
Been into this rap thing for 20 years now, listening and studying more than practicing. At 25 years old, I'm finally making moves. Yeah, it's long over due, but it is all in due time. Listening to my songs and checking out my page, people may get the idea that J Malice is a monster or sicko; couldn't be further from the truth. J Malice has a heart and is willing to bet any amount of wealth that it's bigger than anyone who chooses to come through here. Don't judge a book by it's cover. You have to open the pages and read inside if you really want to know about someone.
Lyrics
1/2 bottle of Everclear and twenty-eight beers wasted/
drinking myself sober, where I can barely taste it/
far away sober behavior and merely replacing/
progress of habits that I had been chasing/
once the mood hits, you have to give in/
see that bottle lying there and have to grab it again/
under hypnosis, fill your glass to the brim/
chaser in hand, drink it man, but can't to pass to a friend/
homeboy stopped by then had to defeat curfew/
sweet emotions suddenly, negating what hurts you/
falling deeper into this realm, can't let go, you turn to/
more alcohol, but in retrospect, the night deserts you/
trapped behind the line of a cast spell by the alcoholic content/
no turning back now, too late, I'm falling again/
helpless against pressures that call in the wind/
if I'd known what was gonna happen, I'd have gone the hell in
It grabs you and there's no way to stop/
you definitely feel like you're on top/
it's possible for you to do anything now/
except for finding a way to get yourself out/
this is a day I try and forget/
it was really packed full of some serious sh*t/
Nocturnal Alcoholic/
Summer 2001
Sun is rising and my ass still hasn't even been asleep/
all I'm doing is looking for more cold sh*t to drink/
walk across the alley, dude I know is listening to the tv/
hands me a bag of beer and yo, I get it for free/
Had cash, though and I needed just a little more/
few hours later, this guy and I made a trip to the store/
12 pack of Budweiser and for sure I'll be hitting the floor/
finished all of them and still hadn't entered the door/
drunk off my ass now, absent from my correct state of mind/
the reasonable thought process has to wait in line/
I argued with my mom, damn I'm going crazy this time/
that aftermath from alcoholism, I didn't want to make it mine/
I got into a fight with my brother and could have gotten hurt/
he got me one good time, but I've gone bezerk/
grabbed him and DDT'd his head on the curb/
Ambulance pulled up to a messy Joey, just another day of stressful work
It grabs you and there's no way to stop/
you definitely feel like you're on top/
it's possible for you to do anything now/
except for finding a way to get yourself out/
this is a day I try and forget/
it was really packed full of some serious sh*t/
Nocturnal Alcoholic/
Summer 2001
Nocturnal Alcoholic/
Summer 2001
I was covered in blood from cutting my arms/
in my state of mind, I was loving the harm/
my dad said they could help me, it's gone on too far/
look out, there's a new nut on the funny farm/
There was this girl I liked, I had her picture with me/
she was a baby and looked so innocently/
sh*t right there only turned out miserably/
can't let this psychiatric ward be getting to me/
After the whole fiasco, I looked back at what happened/
wanted to grab my face, attack and start rapidly slapping/
that was stupidity, but one thing is certain, I lasted/
and I'm still here, feeling good, but not fantastic/
still remember the street those aluminum cans/
one side of me, say come on you know you like doing it man/
another side said someone needs to kick you in the ass/
but I came back, changed, new and advanced
although progress has been kind of slow/
I still anticipate sometimes if it's my time to go/
harsh memories of that day come back sometimes/
I stop thinking and disappear in my rhymes/
whatever I have to do to keep it from the mind/
just want to completely forget about that horrible time/
back then, we were all a little phukked up/
damn, that night was pretty rough
It grabs you and there's no way to stop/
you definitely feel like you're on top/
it's possible for you to do anything now/
except for finding a way to get yourself out/
this is a day I try and forget/
it was really packed full of some serious sh*t/
Nocturnal Alcoholic/
Summer 2001
Nocturnal Alcoholic/
Summer 2001
