Yet To Go Insane
Grandma has been raisin’ cane
And don’t know what to do
She’s been gummin’ all her food
Since her plate broke in two
The old tomcat got careless
He fell into the well
Grandpa got sprayed by a skunk
And lordy what a smell
Suzie lost her hearin’ aid
Can’t hear a bles-sed thing
The pastor’s voice is goin’
He can no longer sing
Uncle John was laid off from
His job down at the mine
Cousin Grace is senile
Don’t even know the time
The electric and the phone
Were both shut off today {Chorus
Grandma has oldtimers
And she forgot to pay
Everything considered
I really can’t complain {Chorus
‘Cause with all my troubles
I’ve yet to go insane
Little Juniors swollen
He came down with the mumps
Sister Sue has left her beau
Now she’s down in the dumps
Uncle Jake just killed off
A fifth of ole Jim Bean
Aunt Mabel went out for a walk
And never more was seen
Cousin Jeb, twice removed
Got thrown into the jail
The old judge doesn’t like him
He won’t set any bail
Little truant nephew Zeke
Got thrown out of the school
Said he makes more money
Simply playin’ pool
The electric and the phone
Were both shut off today {Chorus
Grandma has oldtimers
And she forgot to pay
Everything considered
I really can’t complain {Chorus
‘Cause with all my troubles
I’ve yet to go insane
Instrumental Break
Brother Jim was really late
In comin’ home last night
He was bruised and battered
Said he was in a fight
Mom in law has moved in
She’s havin’ quite a ball
Our number’s in the men’s room
Down at the bingo hall
The electric and the phone
Were both shut off today {Chorus
Grandma has oldtimers
And she forgot to pay
Everything considered
I really can’t complain {Chorus
‘Cause with all my troubles
I’ve yet to go insane
Copyright 2005 Frank Papa
