Lyrics
intro:
"tha club", the proverbial location to "hook-up"
however, once inside,
mutherfuckers eye's often decieve them
perhaps they shud bring a flashlight
for tha darkness plays tricks on their minds
fine honeys appear lyk water in the desert
but are their looks really there, or simply a mirage?
take the story of a young man named of A1, for example"
i walk in tha club, scope out potential 2 fuck
cuz i ain't lookin for luv, i'm just trynna nut
i got my eyes on a slut on tha othr side of tha club
from here i can tell
she got thick thighs and a butt
slim waistline and d-cups
i walk over over lyk "hi girl wuts up"
she turns around and i see she got lips like a duck
nose turned up, lyk a pig, her face wuz crazy
she must've been daffy duck and miss piggy's baby
i ain't shallow, but this ain't even a maybe
for fucks sake, i went blind wen she faced me
this lady must've wanted 2 date me
cuz she wudn't shut up, but i bowed out gracefully
sed i thot she wuz someone else
and she walked away from me
but, all of a sudden
i felt a fingertip tappin on my shoulder
i turned around 2 see a bitch as heavy as a boulder
somebody must've free'd willy
cuz wen she crossed her arms
it looked as if she had 3 tittys
shit wuz sicknin, miss piggly wiggly wanted 2 get wit me
starin at me lyk my dick wuz a twinky
and that hungry hippo wanted sum cream fillin
eyein me lyk a piece of fried chickin
shamoo wuz breathin heavy n sweatin
havin fantasies of me bendin her over a mattress
and feedin her fat ass a ham sandwhich
i wuz lyk damn bitch, i lyk my gals thick
but u overdone it, so now u gotta split
well pillsbury do bitch got upset threw a fit
squeezed through tha exit, left and that wuz it
i spotted another female
she wuz lookin lyk a 6
and by tha way she came at A i knew she'd wanna kiss
so i grabbed a hold of her tits and wuz about 2 lick lips
but then i cot a wiff, it wuz sick
her breath reaked of jizz
she must've had a 2 course meal
of nutts and dick
soon as i smelt it, i wanted 2 vomit
shit i almost lost it
i knew i had 2 flip tha script and switch tha topic
i got 2 walkin,
til me and a pretty lil thing got 2 talkin
we had a lot in common
and she wuz fine from her top down 2 her bottom
so i wuz lyk, come on, let's get it started
all of a sudden i hear a [cut music]
pooot, damn that nasty bitch farted [music back]
it smelled lyk garbage, but tha trick tried 2 deny it
i wuz lyk yeah right, i know u supplied it
but she wuz determined 2 keep lyin
until a queef poofed out her vagina
that wuz it, i had 2 dash
cuz damn i cudn't stand
2 hav another dose of that gas
i saw another girl, she wuz a 7 and a half
i smiled at her, and shorty smiled back
but she wuz actin tense, i wuz lyk girl relax
its aight, feel free 2 laff
so we took it 2 tha floor, she asked me 2 dance
but she relaxed too much and she peed her pants
shorty started 2 cry, so i sed "its aight girl,
dry yor eyes, here, hav a diaper"
now i wuz thinkin
"gawdamn it how,
can i turn this shit around and pull a shallow hal?"
so, i took som x, and som crank, then smoked half an ounce
headed to tha bar, got som absolut, and i downed a glass
cuz, tha prospects for sex r best wen i'm intoxicated
dazed n phaded
i ain't sober so my standards r lower
i holla at evry girl, to get up n come over
soon i'm approached by dime piece
she wuz lyk A1, i b luvin yor beats
but when she opened her mouth 2 speak
i saw that girl didn't hav no teeth
immediately, she dropped from a ten to a 3
but fuck it, i took her 2 my cutlass
unzipped and had her suck it
and i'll tell u wut, i luved it
wuzn't 2 long b4 i nutted
she only had her tounge, gums, n lips 2 work wit
and there wuzn't no teeth, for her 2 bite my dick and hurt it
it felt perfect, til i wake up tha next mornin
and threw up, then got goin
outro:
indeed, next time you head to tha club, bring a flashlight
