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The Naked Truth
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A little bluesy and a little jazzy. A true story, believe it or not! It started out as a poem that I wrote and blossomed into this song.
poetry funny deep stories sad female singer songwriter kids humorous pondering life explorations life journey beautiful melodies and vo life lessons
Singer-songwriter, songs are like stories or poetry, new age pondering, life explorations, songs for kids, journey of life, sad, humorous, silly, deep, about l
I'm a woman on a journey. I've learned much on the path and have been moved to write songs about my lessons, thoughts, musings and things that came my way. Some will touch your heart and soul while others will make you laugh; with me, at me and your own self.
Song Info
Genre
Podcasts • Comedy - Adult
Charts
Peak #5
Peak in subgenre #1
Author
Janet Sclaroff
Rights
Janet Sclaroff - 1980/1988
Uploaded
April 04, 2007
Track Files
MP3
MP3 2.4 MB • 160 kbps • 2:35
Story behind the song
My dog woke me up at 3:00 AM and had to go to the bathroom outside. I ended up being locked out of my house naked and pregnant. Need I say more????????? (PS: the feathery mounds are pillows)
Lyrics
Fast asleep in the comforts of these feathery mounds A sweltering night, devoid of all sounds Naked and pregnant weighing 200 pounds Who knew what this evening would bring? This dog, (I may kill her) whines and 3 in the night I arise, pass the mirror, Oy! What a sight! Push open the screen, put her out in dim light... Rush back to the door that is LOCKED! My life quickly passes before my eyes What if neighbors wake up and see these 30 inch thighs? How will I handle my husband's surprise When he sees that I've walked the dog, NAKED?!? I throw rocks at our bedroom softly calling his name No response adds more insult in this horrid game What if 'til daylight I have to remain? I'll kill myself first, I decide! Now I run to the fence that is padlocked with care Try to hoist this large torso and decide it's not fair That I'm locked out in the night with a bare derriere I'll punish the dog in the morning. Now I run to the front and start ringing the bell Like a door-to-door salesman with SOME product to sell That car that just honked should go directly to Hell Will my dignity ever return? Clumsily down the stairway he's come He whispers, "Who's there?", (if that isn't dumb) I answer, "Just me," feeling totally numb I can't bare another thing more He opens the door, the light is quite dim This VISION OF LOVELINESS is posed before him Thoughts flash through my mind and the whole scene is grim And he hugs me and says, "Come to bed". PS: Like, he didn't say "What are you doing outside naked at 3:00 in the morning?" amazing!
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