Free download
Song Info
Genre
Charts
Peak #242
Peak in subgenre #137
Author
DAMALI
Rights
MALCOLM MILLS 2000
Uploaded
December 18, 2003
Track Files
MP3
MP3 2.5 MB • 128 kbps • 0:00
Story behind the song
March 17, 1989
Jessica was the sexiest, sweetest love of my life. Jessy’s father passed away when she was 12 and her mother had just died three months ago. My girlfriend looked way too good for me but she didn’t care. Jessy seen something in me that I never could. Jessica was a seventeen-year-old runaway and I was 19 and homeless. We were living with a mutual best friend, a prostitute named Laura. Jessica and I were the lowest of the low, (we had to climb a ladder to smell whale shit) we had nothing in our world but sin, sex, and savageness. Statistically, we both were supposed to die there in 25th & Lehigh. Somehow, I crawled out, and Jessica got pregnant by the drug dealer next door. She just told me tonight about the pregnancy…
December 31, 1999
Jessica called me up for the first time since March 17, 1989. She said that she was thinking about me so she tried looking me up in the white pages. She and I grinded through at least 4 un-written Dante’s levels of hell together. She was the only person in the world who witnessed, experienced, and survived that time of life for me. She asked me how I was doing and I broke down to her all of my success. The falling in love, my kids, my music career, the funky apartment, my ride etc. I pontificated for nothing less than fifteen minutes (and yes I lied some too) about all of my success since I left the streets. I finally asked Jessica how is life treating her. Jessica took in a deep breath, and all she could say before spending the next 45 minutes sobbing through the despair and morbidity of her life was “ these years have been full of nothing but sorrow and pain”
My Millennium party was throbbing! The woman, the booze, the drugs, the music, the unholy bachannel of my life was in full throttle. All I could think about was how I flaunted my depraved lifestyle in front of my soul mate. The depression and self-realization of what I really became in life began to fuck over every ounce of my humanity. I left my own New Year’s Eve party a few minutes before the turn of the millennium. I went to my basement and found my old Karaoke machine in storage. I picked up a mic and recorded my true feelings about the immoral manic that I have become. I recorded what came to mind inspired by the depressing feelings that as pathetic as I was, Jessica in her eyes was worse than me. After I recorded my poem/ confession, I sat at my piano, and bought the millennium in writing this song... it took fifteen minutes.
Lyrics
Spoken Word:
May old acquaintances be forgot
And never brought to mind
11:58 PM in my basement
New Year’s Eve
Everybody’s drunk and happy
Everybody but me
I wish that I could stop these voices from inside my head
Pull the trigger you punk nigga
You know you better of dead
This year’s been full of sorrow
This year’s been full of pain
A constant reflection of what I’ve been thru
The thought of having to go thru this shit again and again
I don’t want to do this shit no more
I’m tired of the drugs…
I’m tired of the whores…
I’m tired of the clubs…
I’m tired of these parties…
I’m tired of every fuckin body…
This isn’t for me…
This life…. isn’t for me
Happy fuckin New Year world
Song (FEATURING KIMBERLY REEDER):
Verse 1
Have you ever been so high as you wake up in a dream?
Cause life seems so helpless, my nightmares comfort me
Yes they comfort me
Hook:
This year’s been full of sorrow…
This year’s been full of pain…
The only good thing about this year… it wont be back again
No…no…
Verse 2
Have you ever giggled all alone like a fool… like a fool?
Cause it’s funny how you love life although it hates you…
So cruel… so cruel
Hook:
This year’s been full of sorrow…
This year’s been full of pain…
The only good thing about this year… it wont be back again
No…no…
This year’s been full of cryin
And this year’s been full of pain
The only good thing about this year…
The only good thing about this year…
It wont be back again…
It wont be back again…
