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The Field Sobriety Test
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A little humor about a favorite police tool.
warren wagner acoustic fo
Artist picture
Acoustic folk, Acoustic rock, acoustic country
Hello, I'm Warren and I've been writing songs for about 18 years. I play mostly in St. Charles Missouri. If your in town stop by Rumple's Pub any Wednesday night between 8:00 and 12:00. Don't forget to come up and introduce yourself. Hope to see you there.
Song Info
Genre
Acoustic • Acoustic General
Charts
Peak #456
Peak in subgenre #87
Author
Warren Wagner
Rights
Warren J. Wagner 2002
Uploaded
December 24, 2003
Track Files
MP3
MP3 5.2 MB • 128 kbps • 5:41
Story behind the song
A friend and I were at a bar one night when I bet him I could say the alphabet faster backward than he could forward. I won the bet and that started a conversation in which I demonstrated several other ways to say the alphabet. He was duly impressed and suggested I write a song about this glorious skill I had acquired. This was the result.
Lyrics
The Field Sobriety Test I was comin’ home late after a party one night When I was suddenly blinded in a blaze of light There were flashes of white of red and blue I pulled to the side I knew what I’d have to do I’d have to pass a field sobriety test a field sobriety test I fot outta the car and I stumbled about When I dropped my license I could see the cops doubt He told me to walk a straight line and then When I circled around he said my friend You fail your field sobriety test your field sobriety test I said Oh Please have mercy on me I haven’t been drinkin’ it’s the lights you see They flash in my eyes and swirl around So I’m gonna be dizzy if I can’t look down While takin’ your field sobriety test your field sobriety test Then he said to me kinda on the sly If you know your letters you might just get by So say ‘em right and say ‘em slow Cause if I don’t hear each one then I will know You fail the field sobriety test the field sobriety test ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Then he looked at me with a shit eatin’ grin And said OK now say ‘em again And this time here is what I want You say ‘em again only back to front Or fail the field sobriety test the field sobriety test ZYXWVUTSRQPONMLKJIHGFEDCBA Well he looked at me with some disgrace And a quizzical look upon his face But your not done yet my alphabetical friend This time you say ‘em from both ends in To pass your field sobriety test your field sobriety test AZBYCXDWEVFUGTHSIRJQKPLOMN This time his look held consternation And I swore he would drag my ass to the station But he smiled and said to end all doubt This time you say ‘em from the middle out Or fail your field sobriety test your field sobriety test MNLOKPJQIRHSGTFUEVDWCXBYAZ Well he smiled and shook my hand sure enough And said OK that wasn’t no bluff But If I see you again before the sun hits the trees It’ll take more than knowin’ your ABC’s To pass my field sobriety test my field sobriety test
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